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Cornhole All Stars

 

The MLB all star game is a controversial topic among baseball fans. Changes to the Home Run derby format have brought improvement but the World Series-altering stakes of the ASG itself remain controversial. The solution is a simple one: remove all stakes and of course play cornhole instead of baseball. Five 2-man teams representing each league would play round robin against each other with the top 2 teams playing in a final game for all the marbles (literally only bragging rights because it is really really stupid to put stakes on an All-Star exhibition game). Seeing the top athletes face of in America’s true pastime would bring some excitement to an otherwise tedious affair. Here is how the top pairs for each league might look:

NL #1

 

 

 

Bartolo Colon/Noah Syndergaard

One of the strangest friendships in baseball, the most entertaining man in all of sports and the young fireballer would make for a perfect cornhole team. Bartolo “Big Sexy” Colon knows how to compete and have a good time doing it. At 43 years old, he can still keep up with some of the best names in baseball and he certainly has more fun than anyone else in the league. His ageless precision on the mound and his love of fun would make him a cornhole star. On the other side of the boards would be Noah “Thor” Syndergaard, who has 2 pitches averaging at or above 98 mph this season. Thor showed his fierce competitive spirit to the world last year in the World Series, pitching the Royals leadoff batter, Alcides Escobar, high and tight with a 98 mph fastball. Syndergaard, 20 years younger than his teammate Colon, never backs down from a battle. While Big Sexy laughs his way through perfect turns, Thor would be ripping holes through the boards with his high-velocity tosses. From the great nicknames, to ‘Tolo’s jolly disposition and Thor’s golden locks, the pair of Mets starters would be hard to top.

AL #1

 

David Ortiz/ Mike Trout

The American League has their own Old/New team to compete with the National League in David Ortiz and Mike Trout. This pair of sluggers would form a strong counter to the NL pitching duo. Ortiz is one of the greats of the last decade, arguably the best slugger to come around in years. His production, compared to Colon’s, is similarly ageless, with a 2016 BA of .332 accompanied by 22 HRs and 34 2Bs. His demeanor is also comparable, as Big Papi always appears to be enjoying himself on the field. Trout is a slugger for the new generation, a part of the new crew of big-swinging stars like Bryce Harper and Mike Stanton. Stanton plays hard and he plays right. The AL’s top duo is a fun, competitive team of sluggers more than capable of challenging the NL’s best.