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Cornhole Life Lessons: Celebrate

 

In cornhole or really any form of friendly competition, one thing is certain: winning means nothing unless you mercilessly and obnoxiously rub it in your opponent’s face. It doesn’t matter if you are playing a college friend, your 87 year-old mother-in-law, or your 4 year old nephew. Simply winning is never enough. As future hall of famer Chad Ochocinco showed us all, a sustainable career of success is secondary to celebration, flash, and trash talk. Ocho might only catch one ball a game, but you sure wont forget about that catch any time soon. Smart cornhole players operate the same way. Be sure to celebrate excessively without fear of consequences; fear loses cornhole games. Instead, dab after every throw (make or miss!). Work up a specialty dance as a change of pace (a nice Irish jig always plays well). In the unlikely event of any marginal success during the game, carefully choreograph an extended routine involving props, teammates, or even the fans. Always remember, success is meaningless unless it makes everyone else feel a little worse about their lives. Anyone looking for inspiration can find some choice examples at the bottom of this post. The NFL may have banned having fun after a touchdown (thanks a lot Goodell), but thankfully the cornhole governing bodies have yet to follow in their footsteps. So spike your bag, take a victory lap, share interesting stories about your opponents mother, just as long as you do it in the most absurd, obnoxious way possible.**

** (Proline Tailgating accepts no legal responsibility for any injuries incurred or relationships ruined as a result of  adhering to the above advice.)